Cha, cha,changes

Some interesting changes are taking place in my life right. I am returning to HBCS as a PE teacher. I feel way more prepared for this year thanks to summer school at LC. This year is going to be totally different from the last time I taught there. For starters, I will be mostly just teaching girls. It will be a challenge but it had great possibilities. Also, I will be more involved in the athletic program since my good friend is the athletic director. I may even be as assistant coach for one or more sports, which is a very scary thought for everyone involved. The last major difference in this year is that I am not in student ministry anymore. While it's heartbreaking, I know I will be able to give more of myself to my job and the students at Highland.

Another change in my life is that I moved. I now live in a townhouse across from the River Ranch area. While I loved living with my friend in Carencro, I am going to enjoy living close to everything in Lafayette and it will be closer to work. Also, my new roommate is the daughter of very close friends. She is not a committed Christian so I will be a witness and light to her. I pray that Christ gives me the strength to live a transparent and faithful life in front of her. I know I will mess up but I hope God is able to demonstrate His grace to me and to her through my life. It will be different but good.

The last major change is internal. I have learned and grown so much over this past year. I never losing the thing I loved most would have such a huge impact on my life. I find myself with completely different priorities and outlooks on life. I feel as if I know myself more than I ever have. I have realized who I am and what makes me who I am. I am more secure as God's child and His beloved. Last year began a downward spiral that stripped me of everything I thought was important. As I began the climb back up I found that I no longer needed to prove what I was all along: 1 Peter 2:9

The Purpose of Relationships.

During a discussion with my roommate, we talked about the purpose of relationships. I used to think that I was absurd for having a unique purpose for evey relationship; but now after talking about it I have come to the conclusion that I like the purposes of my relationships and that it is a good thing. The purpose helps me set apprpriate limits and boundaries on the relationships. I like boundaries. I find great freedom in the boundaries I set because I know how crossing certain lines can bring pain and confusion. (side note: I also like walls. I build many walls. I am very grateful for the people in my life who chose to break down those walls and truly get to know me. And of course there were people who took one look at the walls and decided it was not worth the work. Not that I blame them, I can be a difficult person.)
The purpose also gives me a guide on how to act within the relationship. For example, the purpose of my relationship with my BFF is to be the absolute best friend I can be. I need to be supportive, encouraging, loving, a good listener, available, and so forth. So every thing I do in that relationship should be in accordance with those principles. If it is not, then I am not being a true friend and I am not serving the purpose of the relationship. This concept has helped me be a better friend, daughter, sister, and Christian. I hope that all my relationships serve the most important purpose of all: to glorify Christ.

Sunday Sermon

The sermon series at the Bayou right now is Encounters, talking about different encounters people had with Jesus. Today's sermon was on the rich young ruler. He had it all: money, youth, political status, religious status, and morality. When this man was confronted with Jesus, he wanted to know what he needed to do to have eternal life. Jesus knew his heart. He knew that outwardly he was a good person but that his heart was focused on his money and not on God. Jesus told the man to give away everything and follow Him. The man turned away from Jesus and kept his money and power as his number one.

The sermon reminded me that at times we have to lose the things we love the most if they take the place of Jesus in our lives. Though it has been very painful, I am glad that I had to lose what I loved the most to know that Jesus must be what I love most. It also comforts me to know that I can never lose Jesus.

Getting what you need...not what you want

I'm sure I'm not the only one; but when I was younger I used to try and imagine what my life would look like when I was older. I am approaching my 27th birthday and I must say my life has not turned out like I wanted it to. I thought I would be married with kids and have a successful career. It was like most dreams I assume. This weekend God has really shown me that I have everything I NEED not want and in the end it doesn't really matter what I want.

I wanted to be married but I need Jesus who loves me more than anyone else and died to show me that love. He will never leave me or forsake me. He will never disrespect me or treat me poorly. He has my heart because He will protect it.

I wanted a successful career but true success is not measured in what you do but who you are. Am I a person who loves and gives completely to others? Do I put others before myself and serve where God wants me. Have I completely and utterly surrendered everything to Christ? I need to be successful in the eyes of Jesus not the world.

So I may not be where I wanted to be but I am so better off than I could have ever imagined.
I have an amazing church family and friends. I have a ministry to serve that will push me outside of every comfort zone I have. I have a relationship with the Creator of the universe. So, I say bring on being 27 to love more, give more, serve more, and experience life more. After all, I am single, independent, and unrestricted.

Do You Really Love Him?

I was reading my daily devotion from My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers and this passage just moved me so much I thought I should share it.

To be surrendered to God is of more value than our personal holiness. Concern over our personal holiness causes us to focus our eyes on ourselves, and we become overly concerned about the way we walk and talk and look,out of fear of offending God. "...but perfect love casts out fear..."once we are surrendered to God (1John 4:18). We should quit asking ourselves, "Am I of use?" and accept the truth that we really are not of much use to Him. The issue is never of being of use,but of being of value to God Himself. Once we are totally surrendered to God, He will work through us all the time.

Letting go

This post might be long so bear with me...
Six months ago, I started a hard journey. I had to let go of something that I loved very much. I did not want to let it go but circumstances would not allow me to keep it. However, I never truly let it go. I kept holding onto it and keeping it near me. I tried letting go but I never could. You could say I had my very first broken heart. I was mourning this thing I needed to let go of. The thing was certain relationships that I had worked to build for almost two years. Though I desperately wanted to keep relationships and continue to build them, I had to end them. It was the hardest and saddest time of my life. I have had hardships and disappointments in life; but nothing compared to this. All of my focus and energy was in mourning these lost relationships. During this time of brokenness in my life, Jesus reached down and showed me that I was being selfish. Instead of looking for other relationships to build and serve, I was consumed with the ones I lost. During a Wednesday night service at my church, the pastor called for a prayer of repentance before the Lord's supper. It was during this time that God showed me who He wanted me to invest in and serve. I have started a Small group with the women He showed me. We are going through a Bible study entitled Seeking Him. It is about personal revival in your life. This week is about honesty. In order to have fellowship with God and others, you have to be honest about your self and your sin. Last night, the pastor talked repentance. I know I need to be honest with myself and God about my disobedience of not letting go and holding on to what was never really mine in the first place. I know I need to realize and confess my sin and change. Without change, repentance never truly takes place. I know without a shadow of a doubt that God is telling me to let go. Let go of the pain, let go of the what could have been, let go of the relationships I lost and truly embrace the ones in my life now. I know it won't be easy. I have to fight the tendency to be mechanical in my relationships and the ministry God has allowed me to be a part of. It is very easy for me to go through the motions with no feeling or passion for what I am doing. What is worse is that most people never realize that I'm just going through the motions. They think I'm some great servant who just loves to minister to others. While I love serving people, I can get lost in the service and forget why I am serving in the first place. So by God's grace and mercy, I am starting a new journey. The journey of letting go of what I want and embracing what God wants.

Music Junkie

Hi. My name is Joslynn and I am addicted to music. While talking to my cousin over Christmas about my need for a bigger iPod (cause my nano is full), I discovered I am a music junkie. She asked me why I needed more music and I replied that I just did because I was addicted to music. Seriously, going into iTunes and browsing through music and making that glorious purchase is my drug of choice. There is a certain joy I feel getting new music or listening to an old album/song that I have not heard in a long time. I spend more of my life listening to music than anything else. Even when I am sleeping there is music playing. I would rather listen to music than watch TV. The only place I do not listen to music is work and then I usually try and fit it in there. At HBCS, there was always music playing in my classroom. My new favorite website is Pandora because I get to listen to new artist and feed my obsession. Most of my friends know of my addiction because whenever we have a conversation, I always have a song to relate to the topic no matter what it is. Most of my friends ask who the artist is playing and I usually know the answer. It is kinda sad at times. But I must say this, if I'm going to be addicted to something it might as well be as diverse and fun as music.