The Flame in All of Us

Thousand Foot Krutch came out with a new CD titled The Flame in All of Us. It is GREAT! There is one verse in the song "Favorite Disease" that goes..."sometimes I feel like a monster" that pierced my heart because of how true it is in my life. With my thoughts, words and actions I feel like I'm this monster that wrecks destruction and fear wherever I go. However, the song "My Own Enemy" was written just for me. This truly could be my new theme song. Here are the lyrics:

(Intro Scat: Hold up, oh no, who let them in the door,It’s like a freak show, shake it a like a photo)
Hate, is only what you say, not what you mean,
And Pain, is what’s inside of me, not when you’re bleeding,
I will fall, I’ll fall, and take your breathe away,
We, could change it all, and take your breathe away
This anger changes me, it effects the way I see,
Effects every part of me, and makes you my enemy
But when it falls apart, it’s like a brand new start,
And I can’t remember why, I ripped everything apart
I’m still my worst enemy,
The world around me all can see what they want to see,
I need some help, because I’m still my worst enemy,
No matter where I am, I’ll still get the best of me,
I’m my own enemy
Shake, the world inside of me, until it can’t be shaken,
Wake, the words inside of me, before it’s all too late..
(’cause)I will fall, I’ll fall, and take your breathe away,
We will change, it all, and take your breathe away
This anger changes me, it effects the way I see,
Effects every part of me, and makes you my enemy
But when it falls apart, it’s like a brand new start,
And I can’t remember why, I ripped everything apart
I’m still my worst enemy,
The world around me all can see what they want to see,
I need some help, because I’m still my worst enemy,
No matter where I am, I’ll still get the best of me,
I’m my own enemy (x2)
My own enemy, ……my own enemy

Seeking

I went to a retreat this past weekend in Baton Rouge. It was good. My mentor, Charity, was a speaker. The theme was A Heart for God focusing on revival. They talked about brokenness, holiness, and purity. I then went to Mobile, AL to spend time with Charity and her family. I went to their church on Sunday and was moved by the message. He spoke on seeking. His text was Jer. 29:13. His points were:
Seek God's face
Seek God's favor
Seek God's fellowship
Seek God's faithfulness
I actually cried because I was so convicted of how often I do not actually seek the Lord, instead I just dump my problems onto Him and never consider what He might have for me or why I am going through this. I am so unworthy of His grace and mercy. Thank you for the cross.

Highlights from 360 Camp

These are the funny moments from camp this week:
Justin running into a trash can full of water and dumping it over
Tim tipping over canoes on the Buffalo River during our float trip
Morgan blowing in Ian's ear then Ian sitting on him
Luke sitting on Ian's lap
me picking Buddy's nose
all the adults in their 70's costumes (esp Tim)
the students who actually dressed up
Paul and Suzi stuffing marshmallows in their mouths and trying to say "Chubby Bunny"
Paul and Cheryl with pantyhose on their heads (Paul was named the Ultimate Youth Worker)
playing musical chairs and getting sat on
watching everyone play the 'Price is Right'
CHRIS BROOKS

My Unexpected Blessing

So, today I received a cool surprise. My grandfather decided to GIVE me my grandmother's car. Originally, he was going to sell it to me and the profit was to be split between him and his daughters. They said they would donate their half to me so I would only have to pay him half. I told him of their generous offer and he said he too would donate the car to me. So God has took my stupidity and blessed me again. I don't know why He does these things.

Total Loss

The insurance company called and said that my car was a total loss. The positive side is that I no longer have to pay for it and I never really loved it in the first place. My dad wants me to buy my grandmother's Pontiac Vibe but I haven't decided on a course of action just yet.

The Brighter Side

I have my moments of stupidity pretty often in life; but this one takes the cake. I was going home after a meeting for Market Place and the main road I drive was closed because of high water. Well, since I know the back road well (or so I thought) I decided it would be a good detour. There was a lot of water on the road but it looked shallow so I kept driving through the water. So, all of a sudden, the water got very deep and my car stalled. Then the water started rising in my car. My first thought was "This is NOT good!" I tried to call my dad but he didn't answer; so I called my uncle who lived down the road. I also called for a tow truck. Then I noticed in my mirror 6 people walking to my car. They asked me if I was OK then proceeded to PUSH (yes PUSH) my car out of the water. They pushed it a mile (give or take) down the road. I was completely embarrassed but also very grateful. As it turns out, they were Catholic missionaries on their way to India to do mission work. After the whole ordeal, we all prayed together. They were some of the most Spirit-filled people I have ever met. God totally reached down and embraced me and my foolish decision to drive in the water. A careless decision turned into truly a miraculous adventure. I am reminded that life will always have its valleys but God promised He would walk me through it. BTW I saw the most beautiful rainbow as I left work and praised God for it. I am thankful because now I see that God prepared my heart with that rainbow to praise Him in what would be a unfortunate circumstance.

Which choice would you make

Some familiar that may not be the greatest...or
A big risk that may not work out like you planned

Birthday Bliss

Though I did not want to turn 25 this past Friday (March 16, 2007), I did have a wonderful birthday. Friday night, I went to dinner at Lafayette's with five amazingly wonderful people( two of them were my fellow intern and his awesome wife). I had a blast, and I ate craw fish. Life could not get much better. Then I went a friend's apartment with others and we played a mean game of Phase 10 and enjoyed snoballs. It was magical (Robert won...of course). Then next night I had dinner with my parents. Sunday I had lunch with friends at Zeus' Cafe. All around, it was a great birthday weekend. Too bad some people could not share with me...you missed out (jj).

The Flu

This post is late coming thanks to losing it once. I finally decided to re-post it.
I have finally recovered from the (physically) sickest I have ever been in my life. I went to Arkansas over Mardi Gras break with our (EBBC) high school students. We were supposed to take a charter bus to Harriet, AR for a three day retreat. Well, there were no buses so we drove 10 hours to AR and back. I was privileged to drive a suburban. I had 6 HS boys with me. It was interesting to say the least. Well, I had not been sleeping well and I worked with snotty nose preschoolers the Friday before we left. (We left on Sunday after church) So, Sunday night as we arrived in Ar, I began to feel drained from the drive and everything else. Monday morning I woke up and bang it hit me-coughing, running nose, body aches, sneezing. I was disheartened. During the day, I fell OK but not horribly bad. After all the activities of the day, I began feeling weak and really tired. The worst part was the fever I could feel myself getting. A sane person would have called it quits and gone to bed, but we all know that I am no where near sane. So I went into the woods for a scavenger hunt when I knew I needed to be resting. Well, after it was all said and done I felt like I was going to die. I was told to go to bed even though I needed to stay up with the girls. The next morning I woke up feeling worse. The drive back to LA was good. I actually started to feel better. The next day, Wednesday, I went to church exhausted and half dead. I went home and spent the next three days drinking NyQuil and DayQuil. I emerged from my haven feeling better but "blessed" with five fever blisters. Not my idea of fun. So, my symptoms and fever blisters are gone for the most part and I lived through this experience with one tidbit of truth: I hate the flu.

Blessed

I am overwhelmed by the number of people who have truly blessed me during this difficult time of losing my grandmother. I am especially grateful of the calls from people who live in different states that wanted to give me love and support. My old roommate, Janna called as well as Andy from MABTS, Dave from Mobile, and Sean who was in my Anchor group here in Louisiana but now lives in Ft Worth Tx. People here have also been amazing. My pastor really blessed me by letting me know he was praying for me and gave me Scripture to meditate on. God has really shown me how wonderful it is to not only know my pastoral leadership but really form strong relationships with them. Prayer is vital for these men and women to not only combat Satan daily and follow Christ but also to lead others to Christ and lead others in following Christ. I could have never imagined being able to work with such an amazing team such as these. For this reason and many others I consider myself truly blessed

Heaven bound

My grandmother is now in heaven beholding the awesome glory of Christ. She died January 9, 2007. While this is hard for me-she was more of my mother because she raised me and was always there for me whether it be just to talk or give me financial help-I am content knowing that she is where she wanted to be, with her Savior. I know that she is walking on streets of gold and talking with Jesus because of her commitment to Christ. I also have peace knowing that one day I will be with her forever where there will be no pain, tears, or sorrow. Thank you Jesus for Your blood that makes it possible.

Sunday Sermon

This Sunday, the youth minister, Lyndale preached on Inform, Connect, Build, and Serve. The two things that really impacted me were: "Life gets full, but rarely gets fulfilling." Wow! How true is that of myself. I try to stay busy to trick myself into believing that life is great. Jesus wanted us to have a fulfilling life not a full/busy life (John 10:10). The other cool thing was something I've heard friends of mine say also: "I am most like Christ when I serve other people." It was a great sermon.