Self Realization

I had one of those moments this weekend where you know something in your head but then it penetrates your heart. It was a moment of self realization about exactly who I am. People always say "Trust your heart", "Do what you feel is right", or " You're a good person". NO I'M NOT! Jeremiah 17:9 says "The heart is more deceitful than all else; And is desperately wicked; Who can understand it?" I have a deceitful and wicked heart. It leads me astray and causes me to do things I know are wrong. I self-destruct when people hurt me and then I leave a path of destruction behind me like a tornado. I do and say things to hurt those I love; and then I close myself off and keep people at arm's length so that I do not become vulnerable again. That is who I am. However, I take comfort in the other verse in this passage: (verse 10)"I, the LORD, search the heart, I test the mind, Even to give to each man according to his ways, According to the results of his deeds." The beauty in this verse is that while I may have a wicked heart, God knows it and loves me regardless. He also knows that when I was 13 I gave my heart to Christ and He has changed me. Galatians 2:20 "I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me."